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well it has been maybe three weeks since getting back to my home town, the boro. the place that forged me from steel and coal and PCP’s and psychedelics. that toughened me up and tickled me silly. i’ve returned from distant sun-kissed shores, pacific paradises at the end of the world. where the sun shines all day though people don’t seem much happier for it. whereas here, where now the skies are leaden with cloud and many look a lighter shade of grey, i still find people amusing me more than anyone i’ve met in my years on the road. a friend called it gallows humour, i don’t know if that’s true or just that we genuinely do see the funny side of life.
you see so many, many people are taking life so very, very seriously and that is just a crime. a crime i have committed at times but i’m reformed now precisely because what’s the point? i mean to be cliched, ‘nobody gets out alive anyway’, ‘tomorrow will take care of itself’, ‘live for the moment’, carpe beerem.
while away over the years, everyone seems to have produced miniature humans that are completely hilarious, adorable, confident, free, natural anarchists. running around defying the man’s rules and the only thing i lament (only slightly) is that we tell them not to pick their nose, or say rude words, like fuck and fanny (which to me are beautiful, wonderful words) but would be very impressed if they said fascism or fiscal futures (when in fact these are wholly nasty words).
so i’m back on the blog and because i’ve decided that i’m gonna be good for nothing else soon i better get my arse into gear and start writing for a living. anyone need any words writing? £1 for a hundred and fifty! i can do you a bloody good cover letter (if you do insist on applying for jobs). i can write a poem for that bird you’re trying to impress and undress (£25 to pay for my shushed conscience). perhaps you want some jingle for your re-launching of geordie jeans? whatever your word needs i can deliver. so long as it doesn’t promote the following; war, segregation, separation, annihilation, mutilation, killing, bullying or badgering.
quotes available upon request. work delivered when the pub receives payment.
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werds n that 