werds n that

Was my true love hit by a bus?
February 25, 2012, 4:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

We are all in this complex mess called life together of that I am sure we can all agree, that wherever we are coming from in our hearts, if we have hearts, is a place of wanting to be happy, wanting to be loved, but we have been hurt and hindered by the heartless and our own heartlessness that we cannot trust, that we cannot believe that love could exist, that to hope for it would be foolish, that to believe in something real and eternal in this fucked up craziness of human relationship’s is impossible.

Still I don´t believe that to be the case, love after all is all we have ever been seeking, we may build bridges to serve a function but we are driven by the urge to be seen, to be respected and of course to do good to others, we all want to see and portray ourselves in our best light but that is often so fragile, so weak that we don believe it is sufficient to see our beloved in the gloom of the world.

I may never taste your lips again but as our friends, the physicists know, matter is eternally intertwined like balls of string stretching across the infinity of the universe, every atom of ours that has ever touched, is forever connected and literally moved instantly corresponding to the other, this is not science fiction, this is the current reality of our universe as our best knowledge of subatomic physics tells us, so even physicists in their searching have found love and an eternal one at that.

Though what does this console us in the dark nights of winter? We cannot hold and kiss and laugh with atoms. We want to know how to find the true one that we love, that one may well have been hit by a bus, but, they were out there. We want to find our other, our complimentary particle, our harmony, our straight or funny man or woman, our friend.

You all want to find them and hold them and never let them go and never make any stupid mistakes ever again but we will, of course because we’re human, but what if you found them and you were already perfect and complete without them? That’s impossible, you say and I think it might just be, if not impossible, incredibly undesirable, love after all is a dance, a poem, it needs polarities, so it can roll against itself, it needs counterpoint, it needs the thing that seems in such short supply, that is, grace. I have had it poured on me at times in my life and felt alive but I want to live in grace and I think the only time I have ever felt it for any length of time was with someone close to me and the way they looked at me and the way I looked at them.

So assuming they have not, been hit by a bus and are out there, how do we know who they are when we meet them? Perhaps they should develop an app for that, but fuck that, we know and it surges and burns in us and keeps our eyes from closing so we don´t miss a single thing.
The powers surge around us all, great vast powers of time and space and coincidence and chance and evolution and myths and gods that speak over our shoulders. What does it whisper in our ear? That we are lost and all is hopeless in our restless search for love or that everything is fine and that love can never be found because it was never lost, just mislaid. That it is everywhere, obvious, right out there in the open. But some of you seem to show it more than others and I want to talk to you in particular, so leave a message after the tone.


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